December 16, 2007

• Rain on the Parade

  There are many things in life that it appears we are encouraged to do. And yet… it seems like those very same things are set up in a manner so complicated that we really don’t end up doing them. Or, at least, we’re almost doomed to failure from the start.
  
  Take something as ordinary as rebates. “Buy this new laptop, only $799.99 after rebates.” First of all, it’s a small nightmare to even find out what the rebates are for, and about. They are not kidding, when they say rebateS. There’s probably four or five of them. But there’s a catch– because some of the things you’re getting a rebate on was pre-installed as “original equipment,” you don’t actually have the box with the proof-of-purchase barcode.
  
  Besides, which barcode is it you’re supposed to send in? Sending the wrong barcode may disqualify your claim. You might think the UPC code they scan at the checkout and “proof of purchase” is the same thing, but you’d be quite wrong. At last in some cases, not valid in all states, some restrictions apply, void where prohibited….
  
  The industry term for abandoned or unused rebates is known in marketing as “breakage” and is estimated to account for as much as 50-60% of the business volume actually qualifies for rebates. Interestingly enough, far few people lose out on rebates that expire the day after you purchased the item… it’s generally the ones that can be sent in for another 90 days that people forget about. You look at the rebate form, and it says “must be mailed in by February 28, 2008″ so you set it aside… until you run around frantically looking for your proof of purchase and receipt on February 27th.
  
  Some things are far more subtle than rebates. Weight loss, for example. Weight loss??? You bet. On paper, it’s pretty simple– you eat less and work out more. But the task is made much harder by the surrounding meta messages from the environment. You’re “suffering,” because you’re on a diet. Your friends subtly sabotage you by repeatedly reminding you about how you “can’t have” all the things they have when they go to lunch. Some of the ones with a weight issue of their own may even actively sabotage you, in order to feel better about their own failed weight loss attempts.
  
  I can even be applied to an issue such as self-actualization. On paper, it is seen as a really “good” thing. And yet… if you actually pause to contemplate the deeper meaning of your life, you’re immediately labelled as having a (mid-life) “crisis.” If you get ideas from a teacher, people start telling you that you’re becoming involved in a cult. Even the teachers, themselves, may end up discouraging you from moving on… after all, they no longer can sell you $199.99 DVD sets if you “graduate” from their teachings.
  
  There was a point to all of this, when I started writing… but I forget, now. Oh… the holidays are coming up. If you’re buying something with a rebate, gather all the information NOW, and keep it in a handy place… and then mail it in as soon as you know they person you’re giving the gift to is going to keep it. Oh. And make copies of all the stuff you mail… I have had to “re-claim” at least a couple of rebates, over the past five years.
  
  

  • 5:26 pm
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