May 8, 2008
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Mean People Suck
I expect most people would agree that mean people suck. Hell, there are even “mean” people who agree that mean people suck, even if they won’t admit that they suck. We can all probably pretty much agree on that, so it’s not really what I am exploring, at the moment.
What disturbs me– in the greater “global” sense– is the incredible pervasiveness of “mean behavior,” running the range from the very obvious to the very subtle. I suppose I must concede that the “very obvious” variety has been with us for a long…. however, much of it is not only subtle… but publicly condoned and disguised as “entertainment.”
Take a show like Fox’s “reality” show “Moment of Truth.” Maybe I’m being too sensitive here, but if that isn’t an openly mean-spirited show, I don’t know what is. Let’s face it– here’s a show that essentially revolves around people getting paid for saying things that publicly humiliates others and frequently causes the demise of relationships. Of course, that particular show is pretty openly mean… but we seem to be fascinated with and drawn to meanness– be it Simon Cowell ripping bluntly ripping singers to shreds, or chef Gordon Ramsey heaping abuse onto aspiring chefs in Hell’s Kitchen.
Other reality shows are more subtle… but if you think about it, most versions of “reality TV” is ultimately as much (if not more) about making someone else look bad, as it is about making yourself look good. Some might protest and say “that’s just the American way,” to which I will stick my neck out and respond “Well, then the American way is mean-spirited.”
The thing that bothers me, though, is that the world seems to be changing. Meanness is increasingly becoming acceptable behavior, packaged as “assertiveness” and “standing up for your rights.” Somehow, it has ceased to be enough to merely “get things our way,” we are increasingly becoming compelled to punish and hurt anyone whom we perceive “sees things differently,” and might present some kind of threat to “our” way.
Then we sit around and wonder why the world seems to have become this harsh place filled with random violence and war.
Wake up and smell the coffee….
The public examples we are offered are not that kindness is the answer, nor that the right thing to do is to live by the Golden Rule. Small wonder so many walk around filled with rage, as dangerous and deadly as a grenade with the pin pulled.
Comments (12)
The Fug Girls. The mean girls in the cafeteria at high school.
Mean people who KNOW they are mean are entertaining, which is why we have reality shows that are so successful.
Survivor Rocks!
Mean people who are just generally misanthropic, prejudice douche bags should be treated in like manner.
But it is my experience that they tend to sit back and wonder with wide eyes why no one likes them. Then they scream in traffic.
They’re all bastards.
I totally agree. Mean people are terrible. Unfortunately, that seems to be the norm, rather than the exception these days. Nobody believes in “do unto others”…
Yep.
And I don’t see it changing ever, that is the really “mean” thing.
Namaste!
we seem fascinated by meanness as long as it’s not directed at us, forgetting how much it hurts! good point!!!
I couldn’t agree more on that show “The Moment of Truth.” It’s really a mean-spirited show–exploiting a person’s secrets and humanity to gain ratings. I know they agree to be there, but the whole premise feels like bad juju to me. I wouldn’t want my name to go on a show like that when I was laying on my deathbed. I wouldn’t be proud of it, that’s for sure.
I think the only thing we can do is focus on our own behavior and make sure we aren’t supporting, encouraging, or otherwise enabling such behavior (and do our best not to engage in it ourselves…I do get snarky from time to time, and I am trying to change that).
indeed
The TV is the modern-day Colosseum of Rome. And the throngs call for more more more.
Leaves me to wonder where we’re headed as a society – what will it be in 10, 20, 50 years’ time?
Peter, I’m glad you’re still around and doing OK.
On the ‘Moment of Truth’ … It’s amazing what people will sell for the almighty buck. I do believe that western society is circling the drain. I agree with you Alchemies, we’re headed for the Colosseum.
To me, much of what passes for humour these days is mean spirited, sacastic, and passive aggressive.
Is it a mean spirit or simply a complete lack of objectivity and a sense of truth and justice and reality?
Well, if there was a drive that could persuade people NOT to watch such shows…
well…wishful thinking…^^;;;
While “Moment of Truth” is not on Dutch Television, I do get the picture, because the Dutch version of “Idols” is famous for one of the jury members tearing participants to shreds. That kind of humiliation serves no purpose at all, as opposed though to the often brutal approach of chef Gordon Ramsey. While I didn’t watch “Hell’s Kitchen”, I have watched a couple of episodes from a series where restaurants that are virtually out of business are brought back on track with Gordon’s aid. Sometimes his ego and that of the restaurant owner collide, and that’s when things get real ugly, or downright offensive, though almost always the outcome is a positive one. Perhaps, on some occasions, a certain lack of kindness can be in order, if it does serve a purpose other than to humiliate someone. I know that I need a swift kick in the butt at times…