April 4, 2005
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As-sordid Bits
Once again, I find that it is Monday, and my level of feeling inspired is somewhere towards the “running on fumes” end of the spectrum. For some reason, all that comes to mind right now are some brief responses to stuff that has come up, recently….
Shameless Self-Promotion Department:
It appears that I have been put up as a “Most Inspirational Blawg” nominee in greeneyes31′s blawg contest. The nomination– by light_and_fluffy (Thank you! Very sweet of you to suggest that I “inspire”) — marks the first thing I’ve been nominated for since…. since…. oh, I dunno… if there’d been a category for “Most Invisible Student” in high school, I’d probably have been nominated. Anyway, it’s pretty cool to think that people actually get something from these words. There are a lot of excellent blawgs nominated (in various categories) and listed on Tam’s site, so I recommend a visit– you might find some new reading material and some fresh voices.
No, I’m not Whining Department:
Allright, so I’ve received a couple of emails from people I barely know, suggesting that I seem to have a frequent habit of moaning and groaning about my relative state of poverty. With the associated suggestion that maybe I should stop whining, and get a “real” job. Whether these people have secretly been talking to my mother or not, I don’t know– but that’s kinda beside the point. The truth is, I’d rather be where I am now, whining about not having enough money to live, than in that other existence (which I used to live in, BTW), wondering why I feel so empty, and whining about not having a life to live. Besides– as I periodically have to remind myself– this is my journal, not a newspaper column.
“Is it just me, or…?” Department:
What is up with people whose communication style is all about giving others a hard time, in some slightly sick process of seeing if they can somehow find one of your “buttons” to push? BUT… and this is the part that really bugs the frak out of me… when you encounter this and “play” their game back at them, they get all affronted, hurt and whiney. So let me get this straight. You can be “kiddingly” abrasive with me, but if I am kiddingly abrasive with you, I am “insensitive?” As an aside, I don’t like that particular approach at the best of times… it strikes me that most assurances to the effect that ”it’s just a joke” is merely a flimsy veil draped over a deeper truth. Being nasty– even if it’s supposedly as a joke– is still “being nasty.”
Offended by Labels Department:
I have had an interest self-exploration and personality typing for almost 20 years. A lot of people seem rather offended by the idea of “labels,” such as someone saying that they are an “INFJ” or some other acronym. Beyond the obvious “I’m not a label!” argument, there seems to a some fear that such descriptors somehow robs a person of their individuality. Personality types are NOT the person, they are a description, a map of sorts. I like maps. If I find myself in a strange city, I like having a map. Some people like to just randomly find their way. But my point– to those who feel offended– is that a “map” is not the “territory.” Having a map of Dallas does not mean that the map IS Dallas. Dallas is “Dallas.” It’s all in the approach….
Comments (23)
I used to bristle at those personality assessments (the legitimate ones, not the for-fun Web kind), but once I realized it is due to being very close to even in two “labels” it was easier to deal with the label.
As for being nasty, have you been hanging out with the Mean Girls or Heathers lately?
You’re welcome. I always seem to end up writing something deep and meaningful after reading something of yours so I’d say that’s “inspiration”
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I hadn’t noticed any whining… and I can’t believe somebody would take the time to email you about something that little anyway. Sheesh.
I agree “being nasty is being nasty”… I am sometimes guilty of doing that “I’m just joking” thing… but I try not to hit a nerve with it.
Oh and by the way… I’m an ENFP
You are always digging at the deeper meanings in life… sorting and shuffling… no problem with that. and YES, this IS your blog
enjoy it however you see fit 
I love that you, too, are caught in financial issues that I know, I just know, are not from your muse alone but also from some beliefs you have about the way money is made in this culture… We each need to be able to live ethically with our ethic and sometimes in an unethical situation (which is what I would call capitalism generally). I’m just blathering, in a serious sort of way.
Personality typing, naw, can’t go there. Don’t know why. I mean for me. Can see that I believe we are creative beings, amorphous, ever-changing, and contain bits in different proportions of all the typing that there can possibly be and that we ourselves can change the proportions and become another type too…
And maybe none of that is true. I like being a “Pisces” because my tarot teacher said that the last sign contains all the other signs of the zodiac. So one day a P can be an Aries, another day, a Virgo, another day, a Leo, whatever. It sounded like fun.
Maybe take the personality tests as your ‘morning self,’ your ‘business self,’ your ‘writerly self,’ your ‘evening self,’ and see if the results come out all the same. Today a walk in the woods is the prime wish; tomorrow haunting city streets is it. Does that make you the same person on both days, with identical test results on types, or two different personalities?
ohoho xoxo
Oh, I do hate it when I get random e-mails or comments telling me the same thing relating to jobs and money. *shakes head* If people would just read more thoroughly, they would get the why’s. Besides, you’re right, DG! It’s my blog and I can cry if I want to!
I dunno about everybody else, but I need a ‘map’ to find my way around me!
Well since I have just started to read your journal I can’t comment about you being whiny and such. And so what if you were. This is your journal. You have the right to write what you like. Shit on anyone that doesn’t like it ,they don’t have to come back. I felt moved when I first read your journal and I will keep coming back because you are direct , honest and deep. Traits I happen to admire!
I have always felt that “I was only kidding” is no excuse for being nasty to people. I don’t make that kind of joke.
You tell ‘em DenmarkGuy! there is no need for people to be mean.
and yes I hate labels, unless someone uses them to define his/herself. If that helps for you to describe yourself then agreed it gives a description, but I don’t think I would ever use it to describe you, you are much to deep for a sticker
I’m with you on the shameless self-promotion; I did it myself! I hadn’t noticed a whining quality to your blogs. And if there is, so what? It’s your friggin blog! Lables are like cliches: they are a succinct way of expressing something common and universal and therefore become tired and used.
I don’t mind the labels…as long as you make sure you get ALL of them! hahaha! One little diagnosis from a personality quiz may give you an inkling about my inner world, but unless you review the many hundreds I’ve taken, I’m afraid you won’t quite get a full map! (I’m sure there are some interesting hills and valleys not covered by most assessments…*smile*)
I’m not sure how you found me, but I’m glad I found you! I love meeting interesting people…and from one post, I’ve labeled you “interesting.” Imagine!
I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve added you to my overwhelming large list of sites I read. (I keep telling myself to stop doing that, but I just can’t seem to help it!)
Peace and Love…GFW
Well, WE know that the map is not the thing, so pooh on the label squawkers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you whine before; can you show me what it looks like? Just curious. And I figure if one is going to be nasty, one should just go ahead and blast the hell out of whoever and forget the “just joking” part. What a waste of energy.
Just my half-cent’s worth.
T
Wow, congratulations. I feel inspired already, and I just got here.
Wow, I see I’m in good company here, most of my favorite people have commented. “running on fumes” I like that. And I agree with Loovenpeace ”direct, honest and deep” seem like good adjectives to use, though I’ve only been reading you for a few days. My ex-mother-in-law used to use that trick with the “I’m just kidding.” She’d make me feel so bad and my ex would say, “that’s just her sense of humor.”
Amazing how people take it upon themselves to tell complete strangers to “quit whining.” You are a kind soul, DenmarkGuy. I’d have ripped those folks a new one, and in a not-so-pretty manner. Light, love and all that BS aside, sometimes people on here just piss me off. Want me to rough ‘em up for ya!?
O gaawwd, I just did the philosophy personality test going around Xanga – 100% Existentialist. Which I’m NOT! I mean Satre, Keirkegaard, Camus & the rest are ok, I guess, but I would NEVER put myself into their camp. In fact, although I think existentialism enabled Simone de Bouvoir to break the ‘patriarchal code’ in many ways – one is not born a woman, one is made a woman (& what does ‘woman’ mean and all that, which she brilliantly deconstructed before deconstructionism), it also limited her analysis (ie not seeing sexual difference as it arises from biology – and I am a difference feminist, different but equal). Oh my, no more tests! Too aggravating…. Sorry! But you got this blurb, though. I bet you’re a 100% Existentialist too-! xo
Yea, I’m definitely Buddhist-leaning (and Pagan and Feminist and Mystic-any tradition, Sufi especially, but Christian mystics are ok too), but whenever I post something on Tibetan Buddism I lose exactly 3 subscribers, totalling almost 10 since I’ve posted 3 times. It freaks me a little, so I’m keeping it quiet now. Oh, and it’s only a philosophical position and private practice, not even in a Meditation Center or temple… xo
Oh … and btw? If you want to whine about not having enough money, whine away. If you want to whine about the color of the grapes on your desk not being the specific color of purple you desire, whine away. If you want to whine about the lack of high sheen gloss on your fingernails or perhaps the high sheen is too high, whine away.
IF you want to whine about how much sand there is on the beach, the color of dust or the shape of the wind.
Do it.
Fuck ‘em if they don’t like it. Nowhutimean?
Hey, its your blog and you can say Frak anytime you want!
Frak on… frak on!!!
Hey, journals are for posting whatever you want. That’s why it’s a journal. It’s not a forum for someone to critique and get nitpicky over!
If someone has a problem with you posting about financial difficulties, then they must be living in a fantasy world. I don’t know *anyone* who isn’t having financial problems of some sort or another. In a “perfect” world, there would be no financial problems, war, strife, whatever. However, this isn’t a “perfect” world.
Keep posting! I like reading your thoughts!!
M
I think some fear Myers-Briggs labels because they are effective.
Seems to me if people don’t like (what they consider to be) your whining, they can go read someone else’s blog!
Some people just tend to be nasty for being nasty’s sake. I say, POOP on them!