August 27, 2008

• Do we “choose” who and what we are?

  I believe we all have the capacity to create our own reality.
  
  Whether you believe I am full of shyghte, or you subscribe to the same ideas as I, or you believe I am right but your way looks “different,” I have seen a lot of evidence that our intent (overt or covert) drives our lives. When we fully “intend” to bring precisely what we want into our lives… it somehow seems to happen. Likewise, when we fully believe we are “helpless” and that nothing will turn out for us… then it typically happens that nothing turns out.
  
  In a way, we do “choose” Who We Are, just as we tend to attract who or what we believe we are. Connecting the dots is not always easy, however. But… we nearly always can. When you look in the mirror every morning and declare (even if subconsciously) “I hate the way I look,” there’s a really good chance you’ll suddenly find yourself five years into a relationship with someone who– oh, surprise– is frequently critical of your appearance. Similarly, if we convince ourselves that we “can never have a fulfilling job,” it will most likely be true.
  
  Thoughts become things.
  
  Belief is a powerful thing. We tend to move towards our beliefs, no matter whether we’re consciously “trying,” or not. The deeper implication is that manifesting what we want– love, money, success, inner peace, friendships, relationships, contentment– is more often about examining thoughts, patterns and habits, than it is about sitting down and “making a list” of what we want. One of the primary reasons “affirmations” seldom work is that it doesn’t matter whether we say “I’m going to sign three new clients today!” 45 times if we don’t actually believe in it.
  
  It’s always interesting to watch the “outward” signs of belief and words not matching. An easy place to witness it is to watch politicians on TV. Look for someone who’s making an “agreeing statement” while at the same time shaking their head side to side, in “disagreement.” It’s a sure “tell” they aren’t actually “behind” the statement they are making… they may think they are, but their “higher self” (for lack of a better phrase) doesn’t agree.
  
  So how did I “get” here, anyway?
  
  Well, this year– for me– has been largely about embracing the concept of truly being “a responsible adult.” I won’t go into great depth about what that means to me– I’ve written about it, in the past. Point, though, is that I have also been trying to persuade myself that I “like” being a responsible adult, because it makes me “better off in life,” and more capable of dealing with things and handling life’s disasters, when they come up. But the bottom line– as I “feel it in my bones”– is that I don’t like being a “responsible adult.” I do not like the person I become when I “take life seriously.” I don’t like the way prioritizing things like “work” and “paying bills” and “getting things done on time” turns me into someone who just doesn’t have time/bandwidth for the people and things that really matter to me.
  
  You may be thinking “boo-hoo-hoo, welcome to the real world.” Indeed, maybe that is how 95% of the world experiences life. However, I’m idealistic/narcissistic enough to believe that I don’t have to be part of that 95%, I can be part of the 5%. Or maybe it’s 1%. And I get very stubborn about it.

  I choose not to be part of the 95%.
  
  Which brings me face-to-face with one of the “constants” of my life: I simply don’t care what “everyone else” thinks, and I don’t care whether “conventional wisdom” believes that I am “delusional.” And I suppose the bit of “put THAT in your pipe and smoke it” information I take away from these ramblings is an explanation for why– beyond a very superficial level– I eventually get along with so few people.
  
  Back to the drawing board….

  • 12:30 pm
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