October 7, 2005
-
Terms like “normal” and “healthy” are thrown around a lot in our society. We talk about someone’s behavior being “not normal,” and someone’s mental state or relationship is described as “not healthy.”
Sometimes I just have to wonder who gets to decide what constitutes “normal” and “healthy?” And by what authority do they get to be considered judge and jury of my ostensible normalcy and health?
I guess some people find it very important to fit within the framework of what is considered “normal.” My parents would be a good example, in many ways. At least philosophically speaking– because, in reality, they are rather AB-normal. My mother has always been somewhat horrified at any person whose behavior falls outside some predetermined set of social norms. She thinks that the fact that I have a web site (that’s not just for business purposes) practically makes me a deviant. And the fact that I have tended to talk to myself a lot– for most of my life– has always been a great concern for her.
I am not convinced that there is such a thing as normal. Most people I have met have been an amalgam of traits that might seem very “common,” combined with other traits that make them rather unique, in their own way.
“Normal” has a startling (and somewhat alarming) way of being applied to our mental health. Our society just loves to pathologize anything it (rather arbitrarily) sees as “not normal,” and then calls it “unhealthy.” I probably “own” a half-dozen traits that mainstream psychology would insist I need “treatment” for. When I think about my– and other people’s– oddball traits, I find myself wondering if the ostensible “treatments” that are doled out for averything from ADD to Xenophobia are actually designed to help the “sufferer,” or are merely ways to help the allegedly “normal” deal with their fears of something they don’t fully understand.
I’m sure all of us here have ways in which we are stunningly NOT “normal.” And maybe we have ways in which we are not “healthy,” in the most conventional sense.
Comments (14)
I agree with you.
For the record , I’m 100% insane.
M K
I’ve always said I’m the most normal person I know
.
I’m sure my Number One Son would have been put on some form of medication for ADD if I had known there was such a thing as ADD. I just thought he was very active and I made allowances and adapted myself accordingly. It worked for us. I now work in a school where several “problem” children take medication that I see as being totally unnecessary… in my humble opinion, the parents (and teachers) should learn to accept and cope with the children not try to change them to make their (the parents and teachers) lives easier.
Something happened recently that made me think… my boss had a breast exam because she found a lump and her doctor first examined the other breast to get an idea of what “normal for her” felt like. I think that’s the key to a lot of things… what is “normal” for one person might not be “normal” for another.
I think normal is what you feel you don’t need treatment for and is doing no harm to anyone, not what someone else says is the normal standard behaviour. And thus “normal” constantly changes.
Having given the subject extensive thought myself, I’ve concluded that being “normal” is the ability to function and thrive within general social boundaries. The inability to live a productive life or have meaningful friendships is probably due to some “abnormalities.” The term “normal” is abused. When people say, “That’s not normal…” with respect to something that works perfectly well for me or my family, I dismiss the comment as their inability to express themselves correctly, as what they probably meant was “That wouldn’t work for me.”
Humans do have a tendency to “categorize” things, and if something is hard to understand or deal with, it’s considered “not normal” or “unhealthy”. Of course there are the extremes but I think it’s man way of coping ^_^
“Normal” is a style for each generation. I always get the strange looks and nagging because I don’t want what people “normally” want in life. It’s stressful, but I’m not going to make myself into something I’m not to be considered one of the sheep.
Sometimes “normal” is overrated.
My mother didn’t understand why I had a website, either. (And now I have several) She doesn’t understand why anyone would want to air their dirty laundry in the cyber-public. She doesn’t understand that by airing it, most dirty laundry ceases to be toxic to the owner anymore.
“Normal” is what doesn’t scare, trouble or inconvenience the person using the word.
“Normal” is a town in Illinois.
I don’t live there. Don’t intend to.
xoxoxo
Normal..Regular,Standard,Natural: 1. of average intelligence 2 . sound of mind and body. The usual condition,level or quantity.
According to Webster. : )
All I know is… I am normal to me…
*G* Normal is where again? I like you wonder who defines these standards…. I believe unless you ask for help, injure yourself or another than they’ll leave us AbNormals alone……with my career….the normal behaviour isn’t asked, what is asked is to respect others (stay out of their space, their things, don’t steal their stuff) respect yourself (if you respect who you are you’re not going to allow garbage to go in and especially garbage to go out) respect your world…….’til the next
Normal is the opposite of Weird.
I am weird. So are you. There is an ‘i’ and a ‘we’ in weird, yanno?