August 17, 2008

• Here I go, again…

  I don’t blog much, any more.
  
  It’s not that I don’t like writing anymore, it’s just that I’m off doing “other stuff,” most of the time. So I don’t really have the time to spend, with it.
  
  As many of you know, I work (well, maybe that’s an overstatement) quite a lot with HSPs (HSP = Highly Sensitive Person) because I happen to be one, myself. And because… well, I really like sensitive people. I am, once again, helping out with one of the “HSP Gatherings,” which is basically a five day retreat for HSPs… with workshops, activities, social time and just a chance to meet other members of “my tribe.”
  
  If you DO happen to be reading this page, and you DO happen to be an HSP… this retreat is taking place in Phoenicia, NY, on October 2-6, 2008. And it would certainly be cool to see some familiar faces, there! Over the years, I have probably met about 10 people from xangaland, at these events.
  
  I won’t put up a big sales pitch here– there’s current information you can look at on the New York HSP group’s web site.
  
  Or, if you want to see an agenda and registration info, and all that good stuff, you can find it on organizer Jacquelyn Strickland’s web site.
  
  So… go check it out, register, and then I’ll see you there… yes?
  
  Sometimes people do ask me why I “bother.” As in why I “bother” to write so much about my life as an HSP, why I “bother” to create web sites about high sensitivity, why I “bother” with hosting HSP groups and forums on the web, and why I “bother” with the general “awareness spreading” about the trait, as I do.
  
  It isn’t actually that anyone is arguing against me, as such– far from it– it’s usually about the “bothered” thing. It usually takes the form of “I can understand why you’d want to know and understand, but why not just be happy with that, tell anyone if they DO ask, but otherwise just get on with your life?“
  
  I really do understand that perspective. I started puzzling it out, last year, and even started writing an article about what motivates me to do what I do… when I could be involved in some (better paying) gig, doing something else. Ultimately, I guess I’m just idealistic, and believe I’m doing something that “adds value,” in some capacity.
  
  I did end up finishing the article today:
  
  HSP Topics: So WHAT if you’re Sensitive? Why should it matter to you?
  
  Then I got to thinking– the article doesn’t really touch on the “personal” aspects of it all. It presents rational and logical reasons. I sat and pondered that, after clicking the “submit” button, and realized that I am– quite simply– a hopeless idealist. I come across things I feel “matter,” and then there’s very little turning me back. And when I find myself in those “moods,” I always worry about the delicate balance of “altruistic motives” intersecting with “imposing myself” on others.
  
  It’s popular “self-growth speak” to talk a lot about “The Ego” and its role in driving our lives. And I am looking at the possibility that anything I get “deeply into” is an ego-exercise. In this case (meaning my involvement in the global HSP “community”), I don’t really care whether I “get paid,” nor whether I am “recognized.”
  
  I know my own existence has had a lot of painful and confusing times, and that part of my life has been dominated by the idea that unless I could “offer something useful and be rewarded” (old parental crap) I just shouldn’t bother… however, I now find a feeling that if I can add something to the great clutter of information, and it helps someone… well, that works, for its own sake. I has nothing to do with ME, and how I “feel” it just has to do with taking “right action.”

  • 8:02 pm
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